Sexual satisfaction is an increasingly important issue nowadays, and more than ever in history, men are feeling more and more aware of it. More than just wanting to satisfy themselves, they feel pleasure in giving pleasure.
Although progress has been made, it is not a reality that is being experienced in every country. For example, if we consider the scenario that Africa is experiencing, it is almost a parallel world where female genital mutilation is used in at least 30 African countries to ensure fidelity in the attempt to control women’s sexuality. It has been the target of international campaigns and efforts to abolish this practice once and for all, because more than preventing women from continuing to be mutilated for no reason, it can finally allow each one of them to have control over their own bodies and finally be able to live their sexual lives to their full potential.
What we live in the rest of the world where things are apparently more normal is that “We have the misconception that men are thinking about sex all the time, and although that is partly true, especially those who see south African porn videos – we are thinking about sex all the time and we like sex frequently – women attach much more importance to the quality of sex and sexual satisfaction than men.
The absence of regular, frequent and satisfactory sexual activity is one of the main reasons for consultation by couples in crisis. And, contrary to what is popularly held, women are the ones who most often feel the impact of this dissatisfaction, questioning the viability of the couple, says Nasio, professor for three decades at the University of Paris VII at the Sorbonne, and later founder of the famous Paris Psychoanalytical Seminars.
How to satisfy a woman
Sexual satisfaction in feminine terms, explains the Rosarino therapist,”means that sexual intercourse is for the woman a time when she feels wanted, where she feels that she is led by the man to orgasm. A woman in love is always a woman who has an orgasmic satisfaction with the man she is in love with. When you see a woman in love with a man, you should know that woman is sexually satisfied.”
Sex is one of the fundamental pillars of the couple, but it is not everything. Mutual admiration is also necessary:”The man must admire his wife because she is a good companion, a good mother, because she can work and at the same time take care of the house, because she knows how to cook, and so on,” says Nasio. Conversely, the woman has to admire the man, and not necessarily because he is virile, but because of the same qualities for which she must be admired: he is a good father, a good companion, a good friend, a generous man or because he even knows how to cook”.
The third factor that supports this microsociety called couple is for Nasio the dialogue, not casual or random, but a rather ritual exchange in which both members of the couple propose (tacitly) to talk about what they need to share.
Find a way to connect with your partner
“Just as sexual intercourse should be at least one, two or three times a week, I say you need to talk once or twice a week. And again, like sexual activity, the exchange of words should also have a somewhat ritual dimension. It is a good thing, for example, that on Saturday morning, when there is more time, dialogue is naturally established; there is no need to create a provision and have a regulation.
What to talk about? There is no established route – “they can talk about children, about parents, about work, but they need to talk” – just as it is not necessary to say everything:”You have to keep secrets,” says Nasio,”everyone has what is called a secret garden. And you have to respect it.